Pillow Talk
by Jemmiah
Summary: How will QuiGon cope with a padawan in love?
1. Default Chapter Title

"Just one call!"

"No."

"Please, master!"

"Well..."

"I'll make it quick. I promise."

Sigh.

"OK. But it had better be quick or else..."

"THANKS MASTER!"

Obi-Wan dashed over to the Holonet terminal to place his call before Qui-Gon could change his mind. 

Which he was seriously considering.

Somehow the Jedi master doubted his padawan knew the meaning of the word quick when it came to the small matter of contacting his girlfriend. However, the young man had moped almost from the moment they had left the temple until they had reached their suite in the hotel they were staying at. He'd barely spoken to him once, and all because he'd refused point blank to let Obi-Wan put in a 'frivolous' call from the ship they were travelling on.

Who'd be young again, Jinn thought bleakly?

He settled down in the chair and watched with idle amusement as his apprentice tried to contact his ladylove. Evidently, absence was not getting the chance to make the heart grow forgetful. But whose heart? His or hers? 

It took a further five minutes of frustrated teeth grinding and hair pulling before Obi-Wan finally got through to the object of his desire...

"Hello? Jemmy?" Kenobi said anxiously.

"Ben?" Came back a surprised voice.

"Where were you?" Obi-Wan asked. "I was starting to worry."

"I was in the bath, if you must know." Jemmiah 's voice replied.

"Yeah?" Obi-Wan's smile became a leer.

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on the report for tomorrow's talks he had on his lap.

"I'm sorry the picture's bust." Jemmy sighed. "Letina said she'd help me fix it tomorrow. You'll just have to close your eyes and remember how beautiful I am."

"I don't have to close my eyes," grinned Kenobi, "If I reach out with the force I think I can just about see you...standing there, covered in that damp pink bath towel..."

"Oh, PLEASE!" Jinn shook his head. "I'm going to order some of that funny tea they give to over sexed prisoners."

"I hope you enjoy it, master!" Kenobi laughed, before receiving a force swat to his rear.

"Rela, Spider and me are going to the S-W-O-O-P track." She spelled it out quietly so that Qui-Gon wouldn't hear.

"Why are you whispering?" Qui-Gon raised his voice suspiciously. "And you said a quick call. We have this report to go over."

"Yes, master. I know." Obi-Wan frowned. "I'll be only a few more minutes."

Qui-Gon sat back against the chair and settled in for a long wait.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER:

"Time's up, padawan." Jinn folded his arms.

Kenobi did his best to ignore him.

"Are you eating something?" Obi-Wan frowned as he heard the faint yet distinctly familiar crunch of toast against teeth.

"Yes 'Termite', I am!"

"That's not fair." His stomach began to growl at the thought.

"You were the one who called me." Jemmy pointed out as she bit down on the golden slice of Alderaani dough bread. "Mmmm! It's a pity you're not here. I could have shared it with you. One bite at a time! And I know how you like to nibble things." She laughed musically. "Do you know what I've got on?"

"What?"

"Corellian treacle."

"Is this you or the toast?" Obi-Wan smirked.

"That would be telling."

"PADAWAN!" Qui-Gon chastized.

"Anyway, it's not what you've got. It's how you use it." Jemmy said coughing on some inhaled crumbs.

"Are you OK?" The padawan asked, concerned. 

"Yeah," she spluttered. "Next time I'll try not to inhale..."

Qui-Gon cleared his throat pointedly.

"Sounds like a nasty cough your master's got there, too." Jemmiah smiled. "What's his story?"

"He's got 'getofftheholoterminalitis', by the sound of it." Obi-Wan tittered.

"Sounds bad. Maybe he should see someone about it."

"And what would you recommend?"

"Ooooh, let me see." Jemmiah paused in thought. "Complete bed rest. I find that's a pretty good cure for most ailments. There's nothing like just lying there, holding on to your..."

"Err, Jemmy. He's listening." Obi-Wan blushed.

"I was going to say pillow." Jemmy grumbled.

"Oh. Yes." Kenobi blushed; glad she couldn't see him. "Of course."

"Or maybe he just doesn't get enough exercise." Jemmiah giggled before lowering her voice. "Still. I'm sure Leona will be at hand. Should anything go wrong."

"I get very worried when she starts talking so that I can't hear her." Jinn gritted.

"So what else has my little Corellian Sand Tiger been up to?" Obi-Wan breathed. "Come on, Tigger. Tell all!"

"TIGGER?" Qui-Gon's jaw nearly hit the floor.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "It's a term of endearment."

"It's to do with those scratches on your back!" Jinn challenged. "Isn't it?"

Kenobi shifted round again so as to avoid Qui-Gon's glare.

"I don't know how long I'll be stuck here." The padawan sighed. "But when I come back you can give your poor Obi-Wan a good mauling!"

"Padawan?" Qui-Gon hissed. "The report? Remember?"

"Master, this is a private conversation. Do you mind?" Obi-Wan turned back to the terminal. "You're right, it's a pity I wasn't there with you. I could have scrubbed your back."

"What with?" Jemmy laughed.

"That's it. Enough!" Qui-Gon glared it the young man. "Say your farewells now and get your mind back where it should be."

"It is where it should be." Obi-Wan said wistfully.

"I'm not telling you again." Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow.

Obi-Wan spared his master a brief look. "Just five more minutes."

He tapped the privacy field so that only he would be able to hear Jemmiah's voice.

"So what are you doing now? Tell me everything."

Qui-Gon tried to calm himself with the force. There were times, he was almost sure, that he would get special dispensation for murdering a love struck padawan.

"That's disgusting!" Kenobi laughed.

Jinn's frown grew.

"That's is sooooooo disgusting!"

What was going on here?

"Infact, it's down right filthy!" Obi-Wan chuckled. " Oh, that is SO bad!"

Qui-Gon bit his lip. There was a seven-second pause.

"I know I can't see what you're doing. It's terrible waste!"

Another five second pause.

"FILTH!" Obi-Wan tipped his head back and laughed uncontrollably. "How dirty can you get?"

This needed to be nipped in the bud right now, Jinn thought as he narrowed his eyes.

"You like talking muck, don't you?"

The Jedi master's patience had all but evaporated. He HAD to know what was being said.

"I'd almost go as far as saying that I've never heard anyone talk so much dirt in my life..."

"End of conversation." Qui-Gon was out of the chair and by Obi-Wan's side before his padawan could blink.

"Ermm, I'll call you later Jemmy. Bye!" Kenobi ended the call abruptly and swung round to meet his irate master.

"Muck?" Qui-Gon queried in annoyance.

The padawan turned hurt eyes to his master.

"She's just putting the garbage out." He pouted.


	2. Wish You Were Here...

TITLE: Wish You Were Here

By Jemmiah

*********

Jemmy,

Wish you were here. Weather very hot for this time of year, I am told. I'd go as far as to say it was stifling, so much that the air feels almost un-breathable. Really, it makes these robes and boots quite impractical, but what can you do? Qui-Gon has been spending as much time away from me as possible. He says that my feet smell ghastly. He says that's exactly the reason that padawans stand behind their masters. I always thought it had to do with being subservient and showing respect, that kind of thing. Well, now you know the truth. It's because our masters think we stink.

The food is interesting. I'm tempted to leave it at that, but suffice it to say that the stuff we've been living on makes our ration bars look appetising! The things you have to suffer in the name of the jedi council! I have visited many places in my time but this one does not rate highly at all with me. Somehow I do not foresee either my master or I making a return journey any time soon, and if Master Windu wishes to send us back in the future Qui-Gon has assured me that he will be informing him that he will have to find some other hapless individual to do the honors.

The rooms we are staying in are very cramped, but I've been in worse so I can't complain. After all, a Jedi shouldn't really be thinking of such material matters all the time. It's not part of our ethic, as you know. Still, give me a clean bed and somewhere to hang my lightsabre and I would be happy enough. I wish my master didn't snore so much though. It can get very wearing after a time! I think I might have done something to my back though because the mattress is very lumpy and the springs are threatening to work their way through the stuffing. Not like when you are with me. At least I have something warm and soft to cuddle up to.

Come to think of it I don't get much sleep then, either.

I've spent most of the last week studying all manner of documents pertaining to our negotiations. I've read and re-read the words so many times that the letters no longer have any meaning to me. I'm wearing my eyes out! My master covers his own boredom and frustration very well, but personally I think that he's missing Leona as much as I am missing you. Have I mentioned how much I'd rather be with you right now? I think I might have done! But such is a Jedi's life, and I must focus on what I am doing.

The woman here aren't particularly attractive, especially when compared to you.

When my master and I aren't in active negotiations we are meditating. I think my master does it because he is bored and won't actually admit it, but to tell the truth there is nothing here of interest. The scenery is underwhelming. The buildings are badly air-conditioned and a stark, grey color. The sun however is so dazzling that it almost reduces you to permanent blindness. I will end up in the infirmary for certain when I arrive back on Coruscant.

I hope you are keeping well. I don't really wish to moan about how bad conditions are here, I just wanted to give you an idea of how much I am not enjoying things without you and that I think about you whenever I am bored to tears, which as it turns out is on an extremely regular basis. Don't enjoy yourself too much with Rela, Spider and Meri! I expect the cantinas of Coruscant to still be full of alcohol when I come back! Try not to think of me, as I stand here, bored, with no way of telling when this torture will ever end…

All my very best wishes and continuing affection always,

Obi-Wan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you doing, padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, reclining on the sun lounger in the back of their luxury, ground floor apartment. "I would have thought that you of all people would be making the most of the generous accommodations so kindly provided for us on the conclusion of our negotiations! I thought you said," he paused to suck on the straw of the ever so slightly alcoholic cocktail her held within his hand, "you wanted to take a turn in the pool?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan's eyes twinkled brilliantly, "in a very short time. I'm just finishing off this letter telling Jemmy that it's absolute hell here."

"Terrible, isn't it?" agreed Qui-Gon with a single nod of the head.

"Unbearable, master. It's times like this that I sometimes have terrible doubts about my vocation and my suitability as a jedi." Kenobi smiled playfully as he conjured Jemmiah's face before him, wondering if Qui-Gon was similarly thinking of Leona. "But what can you do? It's our duty to suffer."

"Indeed. It's part of life's rich tapestry. A learning curve." Qui-Gon turned over on his stomach and snatched the sun cream from his padawan's grasp with the force.

"I wish she was here, though..." Obi-Wan's jaw began to drop, as two rather shapely pool attendants, one a leggy brunette and the other a very shapely blonde passed by with a drinks tray, also catching Qui-Gon's eye. There followed a long pause whilst they both tried to gather their thoughts…

"I don't know, though." Obi-Wan changed his mind rapidly. "Maybe it's better she wasn't."

~~~~~~~~~~

Jemmy,

Just to let you know that my master and I have just heard that we are going into extended negotiations. We may be some time…

Obi-Wan


End file.
